Love when you don't want to. Pt. 1

Do you remember the school shooting that took place almost 5 years ago at the Amish school in PA? The milkman, as known by the Amish community, walked into a one room school and shot 10 girls, killing five, before turning the gun on himself. Can you imagine the phone call? Someone calling to notify you that your child had been shot (and killed) by a deranged man? How would you respond? I honestly can not imagine this type of phone call and pray to God I never receive it, but the story is a real life example of tragedy and love. The story, which will never truly have an ending for the families and their community, progresses (I guess) with the families whose daughters had been shot and killed going to the funeral of the milkman. These families embraced the milkman's widow and his three children, expressed their forgiveness to him and his family, and a year later donated money for them. An important fact to note is that these acts of kindness do not suppose in themselves that these families were able to quickly or easily overcome this tragic event. I assume they are still dealing with the loss in various ways. But can you imagine the impact this had on the family of the milkman?

I bring this up today because in some minor way I guess I'm trying to relate with the Amish families. I'm dealing with the need to love someone when nothing in me wants to do so. About three weeks ago Robin and I were told that a girl we know was pregnant and planned to abort the baby. We told her that we would help her in any way we could if she wanted to keep the child, or we would love to adopt the child ourselves. She told us she appreciated the offer but did not want the baby herself and did not want to get attached to it by carrying it for nine months, but we convinced her to think about it. The only thing stopping her from the abortion though was money. So for the last three weeks we have been praying God would change her heart and we would have another addition to our growing family. Unfortunately we heard last night that the guy gave her the money and she went through with the abortion on Friday.

This is so stinking frustrating because this girl knows how much we love children, she knows we plan to adopt in the future, and because she proclaims to have some level of faith in God and Jesus. She is not a close friend and is not a part of our faith communities, so there would not really be any difficult interaction for her. One thing she did mention was the difference in culture as she was not white or American, to which we found another family willing to adopt the child who had two children of her nationality.

I don't want to downplay her difficulties because there is definitely a back story, and I would not choose her life for anyone. But it does not negate the fact that she was living in a willful sexual relationship that resulted in the gift of a child. One she selfishly was unwilling to give the opportunity of life.

I will continue this tomorrow in order to stick to my "no long blogs" rule. But I would love to hear your thoughts in the meantime.